I miss calling you mine.

No matter how hard I pretend, I still miss you. I miss waking up to your texts. And waiting for your goodnight message. I miss your goofy jokes and your warm laughter. I miss having you at the end of a hard day. And talking to you and sharing every little thing. I miss your voice, your smile, that twinkle in your eyes. I miss fighting with you and then cuddling up to you. But most of all, I miss calling you mine.

No title.

When you love someone, someone you love. When they break your heart, it's the hardest thing you could ever go trough. And no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away. You may think you're getting better, but the you get a flashback, or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits you all over again, all at once, like a stab in the chest. You fall apart, for the hundredth time. And you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. You love this person with all of your heart, even though you know, you shouldn't. They hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt. They stole your happiness. But yet, You still want them, and only them. Other people come along and give you chances to move on, but you know you don't want to. It upsets you that you might be moving on, because you promised you never would. And even if they broke all their promises, you want to keep yours. On top of that, you're terrified. Terrified of getting hurt again. But it's not like it matters anyway, at the end of the day you're still thinking about the person who has left you completely  broken. You don't want to miss them anymore. You don't want to love them anymore, but you know you always will.

I really wish I could say this to him.

When we broke up, I tried to move on. I tried asking other guys out, but I found every time I started hanging around with them, they weren't what I thought. I guess I set them up to where they were equal with you, yet they where nowhere close. And I miss you. I still love you, I may find it really hard to move on now but in time I will. I promise.

Talking to myself

Get over him. He's not even worth it. He is not worth your time of your tears. Yeah you loved him, I know that. And I know you just can't see yourself with anyone other than him, I get that. I've been there. But why should you spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he is and who he is with. Do you honestly think he is thinking about you? No. Sure it hurts, the fact that he is out there falling in and out of love with other girls. Yeah your gonna see him with one of his new girlfriends. Prepare yourself, cause straight up; it's gonna hurt. He will hold her a little closer and squeeze her hand a little tighter just because he knows your watching. He know it's killing you; that's why he will do it. Don't let him get to you because that, well that's exactly what he wants. Don't give him what he wants. He doesn't even deserve it. So what if he doesn't talk to you; do you honestly wanna be friends with an asshole like him anyways?! Thing is I know you still do. But give it time. Because all he would do is talk about his new girlfriend and just try and make you jealous. Do you really wanna hear that? No. Screw him and his girlfriend. He will be sorry. Trust me. When he finally sees you with some other guy who's not him. With that huge grin on your face and your boyfriend holding you close, he will realize how happy you are now. And how happy your boyfriend is because he has you; the girl of his dream. He will realize huge mistake he mad when he let you go, when he decided to choose her over you. When he decided he just did not love you the same. Trust me, he will be sorry. And don't you sit there thinking he won't be sorry I know you are. But I guarantee you now; He will be sorry. So don't go on spending your nights waiting for that one phone call you know your never gonna get. Or that IM you know he will never send you simply because he likes to ignore you. He like to pretend he does not see you online, he does it out of spite just because he knows it's killing you. When he walks past you in the hallways he is gonna look past you, but you need to know he will do that cause he knows somewhere inside you, it will hurt. I'm not gonna lie to you. It will hurt. It'll hurt a lot. But it will hurt even more when you see her name and how much he loves her in his profile. It's all gonna hurt. Knowing you're not the girl that's making him smile. Knowing your not the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last before he goes to sleep. Knowing your not the face on his background of his phone anymore. Knowing of he hasn't already he will delete the album of pictures of you he has on his laptop. Knowing you wont be spending every single moment possible with him. Knowing there's not gonna be no more late night phone calls arguing about who loves who the most. And you know what, today, tomorrow, next weeks, month from now; your phone will go off with a text message, you will instantly grab your phone, hoping it's him saying he wants to give your relationship another shot. But trust me; he's got to much pride. Even he want to be back with you, he wouldn't tell you. Your soon gonna realize he doesn't care about you anymore and he won't be the first person you call when your upset. He won't be the one to put that smile back on your face. And yeah! It's gonna hurt; it's gonna hurt a lot. But you know what you gonna do? Your gonna hold your head up. Your gonna show him your better than him and you don't need him in your life. Your gonna prove to him that he made the biggest mistake of his life letting you go and that you never really needed him anyways.

I kind of miss you, not as I miss you I like you, but I miss talking to you everyday like all everyday, spilling our emotions talking about music and our problems, everything. I just miss when we used talk, now it's like don't know each other anymore and it kind of hurts, even though we weren't anything, is still hurts knowing we've grown apart and it went by so quickly.

This is funny to me..

It's funny how all I used to do was try to forget the bed memories, but now that I've lost you, it's the good ones that hurt the most. It's funny how I literally felt my heart break but to you this was all lies and fake. It's funny when you walk past me and avoid just looking my way. It's funny how I'm dying inside, and you're totally okay. It's funny how you already found someone new, it's funny that I will never get over you. It's funny how cruel you can be, but the funniest part of all is how none of this is funny to me..

June 15, 2011.

Hey!

What a beautiful day!?!? Today after got a bunch of duit taruhan setelah FCB menang gue memutuskan untuk bersemedi di depan layar laptop. Karena, after that incident gue memutuskan untuk have a relationship with my laptop. *ciein dulu sampe tumpeh tumpeh* yeay!

Di post ini gue engga akan membahas tentang gue putus ya sudah lah lupakan, lagian itu sudah terjadi berabad-abad yang lalu. Uhm, mungkin kalian bakal menganggap kalo gue ini manusia purba yang keren. Karena.. There's no makhluk purba yang as cool as me. Yasudah lah gue pun tidak berniat untuk membuka kartu tentang sekeren apakah gue ini atau setangguh apakah cowo cewe yang baru putus ini. Okay, lupakan.

Ohya, talk about FCB bulan ini Puyol harus menjalani operasi lutut karena cedera. May God always bless my papa's partner. Uhm, Jersey for new season ain't bad also. Tapi, to be honest gue bosen liatnya. *oke sekarang kita sedang membicarakan jersey sebuah club nad. Not about what fashion trends are in*. Sip! Sekarang tentang duit taruhan. Untuk penutup season, 200rb sangatlah lumayan untuk 2x match hahahaha yang penting duit gue menebal lagi!!!

Randomly, gue pengen berbagi curhatan dan isi hati gue. Sebagai anak asrama yang tinggal jauh dari emak-babeh gue merasa bangga sekaligus terharu cap kaki badak kalo orang bilang 'wah kamu udah mandiri ya' dan rasanya gue pengen langsung bilang 'HI HI HI TQ' dengan imutnya. Dan menambahkan sedikit gurauan seperti 'LO GAK TAU AJA GIMANA BERATNYA HIDUP INI TANPA CINTA' dengan sebanyak-banyaknya. Oke gue ngaco. Karena, sekarang gue udah ngantuk tingkat dewa.

Ngantuk tingkat dewa itu semacam lo pengen tidur dengan para dewa-dewa(?) atau lo pengen tidur dengan vokalis dewa19(?). Tuhkan terbukti, orang se-ekhem-keren gue aja kalo ngantuk pasti kaconya level major. So, ya wajar aja kalo lo atau cowok lo yang engga sekeren gue bakal teler kalo ngantuk. Sip makin ngaco.

Pokoknya, intinya, gue-gak-akan-lagi-menggalaui-dia. Kecuali kepepet . Udah, yang penting itu gue keren dan gue akan tidur keren juga sekarang. Good night!


Xoxo, nadys.

Goodbyes are hard.

it may be harder for the person leaving,

but it's always hardest for the one left behind.

Today when you walked by and didn’t even bare to look at me, I felt my heart break. You don’t know how much it hurts to see the person you care about walk right past you like you’re not even there :(

He saw you. He wanted you. He liked you. He got you. He had you. He loved you. He got bored. He left :-(

the reason of all

Girl : Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy : No
Girl : Do you like me?
Boy : Not really
Girl : Do you want me?
Boy : No
Girl : Would you cry if I left?
Boy : No
Girl : Would you live for me?
Boy : No
Girl : Would you do anything for me?
Boy : No
Girl : Choose-- me or your life?
Boy : My life

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says..........

--------------------------------------------------------------------
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I choose my life is because you ARE my life<3

Never say "I love you", if you really don't care.

Never talk about feelings, if they aren't really there.

Never hold my hand, if your gonna break my heart.

Never say you going to... if you don't plan to start.

Never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie.

Never say hi, if you really mean goodbye.

If you really mean forever, then say you will try.

Never say forever, cause forever make me cry...

You shouldn't hurt at all

You always hurt the one you love. The one you shouldn't hurt at all. You always take the sweetest rose and crush it until the petals fall. You always break the kindest heart with a hasty word you can't recall. So if I broke your heart last night. It's because I love you most of all.

She yells because she cares.

She cries because she's frustrated.

She smile out of no where because she's thingking of you, even if you're already there.

She scrunches her face because she's about to explode.

She hits you because she want to touch you.

She stares at you because she's infatuated.

She calls every half hour because she misses you.

She kisses you she just want to.

She asks you questions because she's curious, not to be annoying.

She wants to know where you are to be with you.

She calls just to hear your voice.

She walks beside you to walk your hand.

She sits close to you to lean on your shoulder.

She stands in front of you because she want a hug.

Truth is, That girl loves you.

Alya Nathania☺: hufttt.

Alya Nathania☺: hufttt.: "boy : I broke up with her. his best friend : What happened? Boy : She’s just too much for me. His Best Friend : What makes you say that? Wh..."

can we please talk, for even five minutes, it's been over 2days and I miss you a lot☹

Alya Nathania☺: :"(

Alya Nathania☺: :"(: "do you know that when a boy breaks a girl's heart, its much, much, much more than you know it affected her? that her tears are not only to..."

Learn to let someone go. I can't keep them if they won't here :"(

P.S. Stay, don't leave.

Dear you,

I know maybe it's too soon to say I love you so much. I know maybe I don't even know you so well :( I know I'm not good. Not even close to be a girl that you wish you had :( I'm selfish, spoiled, easly jealous, labile and emotional. I can't make you laugh freely just like when you're around your friends. I can't make you smile :( I'm ugly, not pretty like your girl friends. I can't do make up. I'm not fashionable. I'm sorry I act like a little girl and so annoying :"( I'm sorry I'm not independent. I'm sorry I always talk actively about useless things and that makes me regret in the end for wasting our-golden-times :( I'm sorry I make you bored for being around me :( I'm sorry I can be so fearful and jealous when you're getting closer with another girl who has everything I don't have and looks match with you ;( </3 I'm sorry sometimes I can't understand your full-schedule-activities and get mad because I'm so missing you but you still don't get it :""( I'm sorry I'm too excessive loving you and I wish you would never change your mind for loving me back. I'm sorry for all those suck things I did :( I don't wanna be your past and don't wanna let you being my past. I know maybe we can't be last just like another couple. But I still wish we can make it through years and happily ever after. Who knows? But, never mind, I just wanna keep you and hold you tight now, while we still have times, while you're still mine :') <3

PS : Stay, don't leave.

Happy Birthday Nadyss!

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADDDDD!!!! SEMOGA LONGLAST SAMA NABIL!!! Ga tambah nyebelin, yang baik2, HEHE :*{}" -alnatth. thankyou all buat ucapannya dia yang pertama ngasih ucapan birthday ke gue, yaps jam 12teng -_- hahaha dia temen gue tercinta dah yaaa ;) yaps tepatnya 13thn yg lalu emak gue tercintah lahirin gue hahaha hari selasa jam gatau tanggal 2 bulan juni tahun 1998 eaaa. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADYAA!!! And I'm 13yrs old now. God, I'm very thankful for your blessing. And 13? don't be my fuckin month yaaa :) My wish : be better, be stronger and be taller hahaha tadi malem jam 11 sempet ketiduraan trs gue bangun jam setengah 1 ternyata udah kebanjiran bbm, mention sama sms gituu hahaha thanks banget yaa ucapannya, do'anyaa :

seneng deh waktu bangun udah diucapin happy birthday sama tazqya,isma,meena&umi hahaha tadi malem sempet juga nungguin ucapan dari si encek cuma gue inget dia kan udah tidur hahaha mana mungkin bangun lagi buat ngucapin happy birthday doang hohoho daaan ternyata tadi pagi..

thankyou so much encek sayang<3

yapsss singkat banget cuma berhasil bikin gue senyum-senyum sendiri pagi ini haha tapi thankyou banget deh yaa pokonyaaa ;) pernah ada yang bilang happy birthday = selamat meninggal bentar lagi hahaha trs ada juga happy birthday = selamat tambah tua cepet mati -,- asu emang tuh kalo yg ngedo'ain kaya gitu hahhaha tapi engga ada sih temen gue yang gitu ehehehe yaaa sabtu ini rencananya mau jalan sama alnatth&alif. terkatiran makan gituu awalnya ngajak orang banyakan cuma mereka gabisaa dan yang lain juga sama huhuhu tapi yaudah deh kalo emang gabisa gapapa :') ettts waiit ada bbm masuk...................................HELL YAAA! ternyata dari bokap & abi :D bokap ngucapin "anak jenong ya yang ulang tahun" watdehel yaaa lagi-lagi gue dikatain jenong errrrgh oke dan dari abi..

dia sepupu gue yang satu perjuangan banget daah hahaha

well, jam segini gue masih kebanjiran mention di twitter sampe kewalahan bales gini hahaha tp thankyou banget pokoknya buat yang udah ngucapin ;) thankyou banget do'a-do'anyaa ;) thankyou juga buat mba uci, tante erma, nyokap & bokap buat kadonya :) see yaaa byebye :*

with my beloved mom{}

me, tante lina & nauval<3

Love, nadys<3